Crazy Florida!

Jenkem has origins in Africa where raw sewage is fermented to produce a gas for inhaling. The clever youth of Florida have figured out how to create their own Jenkem by placing the waste in a glass container and placing a balloon over the opening. Let it sit in the sun, like poop sun tea, for a few hours or days and the gas will separate into the balloon. The gas can then be inhaled to produce a stinky yet strong high.

More info here.

• The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
• Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehice.
• Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.
• Oral sex is illegal.
• Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

State Sen. Stephen Wise of Jacksonville announced through an article in the Florida Times Union that he plans to file a bill this legislative session to require evolution to be balanced with a discussion of intelligent design. Yes, require. Not just allow, but to require.

- Wise? More crazy than wise I would say….

www.rollingstone.com

Master Legend races out the door of his secret hide-out, fires up the Battle Truck and summons his trusty sidekick. “Come on, Ace!” he yells. “Time to head into the shadows!”

The Ace appears wearing his flame-accented mask and leather vest; Master Legend is costumed in his signature silver and black regalia. “This is puncture-resistant rubber,” Master Legend says proudly, pointing at his homemade breastplate. His arms are covered with soccer shinguards that have been painted silver to match his mask. “It won’t stop a bullet,” he says, “but it will deflect knives.”

“Not that any villain’s knives have ever gotten that close!” the Ace chimes in.

When Master Legend bursts into a sprint, as he often does, his long, unruly hair flows behind him. His mane is also in motion when he’s behind the wheel of the Battle Truck, a 1986 Nissan pickup with a missing rear window and “ML” spray-painted on the hood. He and the Ace head off to patrol their neighborhood on the outskirts of Orlando, scanning the street for evildoers. “I don’t go looking for trouble,” Master Legend shouts above the engine. “But if you want some, you’ll get it!”

Then he hands me his business card, which says:

Master Legend
Real Life Super Hero
“At Your Service”