Crazy Florida!
Everything you need to know about the Sunshine Batshit Crazy State.
Sketch of assault suspect released
VOLUSIA COUNTY, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) - The Daytona Beach Police Department is still looking for a man that attempted sexual battery on an 80-year-old woman last week.
Oops… Yearbook shows girl without panties… - I Hate My Cubicle!!!I figured this would happen in Florida, but my local CBS affiliate? This place is crazy.
(Related, but much more fucked up. Yeah, that’s my local FOX affiliate.)
Jack Donaghy (via deliberatepace)
i had five people txt me this exact quote from yesterday’s 30 rock. ssssuper funny guys. you’re just jealous that i’m going to the pool later [:
(via jennnay)
HOMESTATE PRIDE
(via toteslegitadult)
(via vforvelociraptor)
Florida. The homestate I won’t admit to being from unless caught. Or if you’re reading this blog. (via drex)
“The Senate approved this tag without seeing it”.
-Tampabay.com
Obviously…
Crazy Florida Kids Get High From Sniffing Poop
Jenkem has origins in Africa where raw sewage is fermented to produce a gas for inhaling. The clever youth of Florida have figured out how to create their own Jenkem by placing the waste in a glass container and placing a balloon over the opening. Let it sit in the sun, like poop sun tea, for a few hours or days and the gas will separate into the balloon. The gas can then be inhaled to produce a stinky yet strong high.
More info here.
Florida Laws
- The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
- Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.
- If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehice.
- Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
- You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.
- Oral sex is illegal.
- Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
Wise to introduce bill on intelligent design
State Sen. Stephen Wise of Jacksonville announced through an article in the Florida Times Union that he plans to file a bill this legislative session to require evolution to be balanced with a discussion of intelligent design. Yes, require. Not just allow, but to require.
- Wise? More crazy than wise I would say….
IT’S FINALLY OVER
So the Steelers won today against the Cardinals and you know what that means?
NO MORE OUT OF TOWNER TRAFFIC! Thank goodness!
If you’re like me and you live maybe 5minutes away from Raymond James Stadium, you are practically pissing your pants with joy right now not because the Steelers won, but now all this obscene traffic we have been dealing with for the past week is finally OVER. Dale Mabry is finally open and free again to strip clubs and not as many crawling cars gazing at the stadium.
THANK YOU OUT OF TOWNERS! IT’S TIME TO LEAVE NOW.
-fin.
Pa. man considered bank error ‘a gift from God’
The trouble started when a $1,772.50 deposit to the Pratts’ FNB Bank account showed up as $177,250 last summer. Police say that instead of telling the bank, they withdrew the money, quit their jobs and moved to Florida.
