Crazy Florida!
Everything you need to know about the Sunshine Batshit Crazy State.
The Legend of Master Legend - Orlando, Fl
Master Legend races out the door of his secret hide-out, fires up the Battle Truck and summons his trusty sidekick. “Come on, Ace!” he yells. “Time to head into the shadows!”
The Ace appears wearing his flame-accented mask and leather vest; Master Legend is costumed in his signature silver and black regalia. “This is puncture-resistant rubber,” Master Legend says proudly, pointing at his homemade breastplate. His arms are covered with soccer shinguards that have been painted silver to match his mask. “It won’t stop a bullet,” he says, “but it will deflect knives.”
“Not that any villain’s knives have ever gotten that close!” the Ace chimes in.
When Master Legend bursts into a sprint, as he often does, his long, unruly hair flows behind him. His mane is also in motion when he’s behind the wheel of the Battle Truck, a 1986 Nissan pickup with a missing rear window and “ML” spray-painted on the hood. He and the Ace head off to patrol their neighborhood on the outskirts of Orlando, scanning the street for evildoers. “I don’t go looking for trouble,” Master Legend shouts above the engine. “But if you want some, you’ll get it!”
Then he hands me his business card, which says:
Master Legend
Real Life Super Hero
“At Your Service”
Burger King: Dropped Wallet Stunt
-No wonder The King is crazy like that.
Homeowner Finds SUV With 2 Dead In Pool
WINTER GARDEN, Fla. — A Winter Garden woman came home Friday to find a sunken SUV carrying two dead people in her backyard swimming pool, according to the Winter Garden Police Department.
Noted for posterity: On Friday, August 22, 2008 at 1:36pm EST this was the most important thing happening in the world.
Police Bust South Florida Grandmother Buying Drugs
Thursday, August 21, 2008 A South Florida granny is busted in an undercover drug sting. 70-year old Paula Carrido is facing serious charges. “We caught her buying cocaine and marijuana,” says Miami police officer Kenia Alfonso. Investigators say Carrido, who has never been arrested before, claims the drugs weren’t for her. “She told our officer that she was buying the drugs for her son,” says Alfonso. Carrido appeared before a judge Thursday morning who set her bond at $15,500.
Tiger on the Loose in Florida, Residents Urged to Stay Inside
danhacker: Tigers and hurricanes? No way I’m ever living in Florida. If those two don’t get you the swamp people and gators will.
brookehatfield: don’t forget about the roving bands of jean shorts.
Why would you ever want to live in Florida anyways? Awful state.
(KIDDING! Seriously.)
(Via: sarahchristine)
Kite-surfer challenges Fay, gets slammed
Ouch! Fay’s winds whip kite surfer into building. Video of the Darwin Award candidate included.
She's the toddler on the roof.
A Florida granny was arrested for driving around a grocery parking lot with her granddaughter on the roof of the car.
In her defense, the old lady said she was driving at a snail’s pace and holding the child’s leg, and would never endanger her granddaughter.
It doesn’t say Florida… but I have a feeling it is…
